Between the Heart and Mind

Almost every bone in my body is telling me to trust my gut and tell you how I feel because “you’re different,” and a nice, good guy, and you just might be the one to break down every wall I’ve placed around my heart.  Hell, you’ve already started.  But it’s that small little piece of me that is tearing me apart.  That same small part that says you don’t feel the same and I’m just setting myself up for the inevitable disappointment and heartbreak.  And as much as I try to ignore that part, it keeps coming back–stronger and stronger each time.  So I give into it and mess around; telling myself that this, staying with him tonight is what is going to stop the disappointment and the pain.  If you have someone waiting on the sideline, losing someone you could actually and truly fall for will hurt less, right? Maybe.  And after all, that little bit of doubt isn’t there for no reason.  Some part of me must understand something about us that I have yet to figure out, right?

But he’ll never even come close to you. Because despite what I might tell anyone else, you’ve broken down a lot of walls and I think I’m starting to fall. And I think losing you might be the real downfall.

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Things I learned getting over you

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Don’t ever associate a song with him. It’s just a sure fire way to get your heart broken a million times over; again and again and again. Because every time you hear that song, you’ll think of him. And your heart will drop to your stomach and he’ll make you feel sick all over again…even though he’s gone. And you’ll wonder how he still has this hold on you, even after all this time.

Don’t let him sleep in your bed. You’ll get so used to falling asleep beside him and the smell of his cologne filling your nose, and his gentle breathing lulling you to sleep, that when it’s all over, you won’t be able to sleep through the night. You’ll toss and turn when you finally realize your pillows don’t smell like him anymore, but it’ll be too late. He’ll be long gone, leaving the scent of the cologne on someone else’s pillow at night–while you stare at yours wishing he was still next to you.

Don’t keep the pictures hanging on the wall. They’ll only fuel your frustration, leaving you in a fiery pit of resentment and sadness. Take them down and set fire to all the sadness and hate and confusion and hurt. Let your tears fall one last time before you decide that it’s time to let him go. Let the pictures and pain burn away, and you will rise from their ashes.

And if you let him touch every part of you–body and soul–just remember that it takes time for your skin to regenerate itself. This means that in time, there won’t be an inch of your body he’s tainted with his touch. And although the heart isn’t as easy, there will come a time when it heals from the damage he’s caused.

We Almost Dated: The One Who Won’t Go Away

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You watch your phone after every text you send, patiently waiting for those three small dots, giving you a glimmer of hope he might respond. They appear for a second then stop. “Maybe he’s just busy,” you think, scrolling up to reread his sweet texts from last week for your own mental clarification that he’s interested.

Introducing: The One Who Won’t Go Away. He makes you feel special enough, but you still don’t feel like you have his full attention. He’s stayed in your life long enough to give you that pinch of hope that your hookup routine will turn into an actual relationship. Your friends ask you why you’ve kept this guy in your life for so long. Between daydreams of meeting his family and the moment he says his first “I love you,” a small demon in the back of your head named “Logic” reminds you it…

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Moving On From The Wrong Person

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They say you can’t choose who you fall in love with; this I believe to be true.

When it comes to falling in love, we think with our hearts. We choose to ignore our insecurities, our flaws and the stark incompatibles between us that seem so unimportant and insignificant at the beginning.

It will be a roller coaster with peaks and dips and varying velocities. At the beginning the adrenaline and the thrill will kick in and give you a rush that nothing else will ever give you. You ascend and descend alongside one another; all the while remaining close and hand in hand. Sometimes you may lose grip but you will always find a way back. For a while nothing else in the world will matter because it’s just you two against everything and everyone. But sooner or later the ride will begin to decelerate; the adrenaline and the…

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18 Pieces Of Advice To Help You Get Through Your Late 20s

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1. Find someone who will do hot yoga with you and hold your hand when you do a Supine Twist.

There is nothing like twisting out the weekend’s toxins with the one you love. My boyfriend and I took advantage of an awesome yoga deal and committed to it together. There is something to be said about dragging your ass to the gym together, getting sweaty together and then waking up feeling sore together. It is a spectacular thing.

2. Remember that that cup of water that makes your coffee in the morning counts toward your 8.

Really try to drink these 8 cups. Sneak them in there. A full cup with your vitamins, a cup with the green tea that you should have every day, the water bottle you gulp after your workout. Make it happen. It does wonders for your skin.

3. Wash your face every single night.

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With You, I’m Risking Heartache And Wasted Time

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I know I like a man when I can be myself around him. When I can eat a lot in front of him, and remain unconcerned as I take another bite of that delicious meal. When I can laugh so hard that my gums are showing and I seem to make no more noise. When I wake him up at 5:30 in the morning in just a t-shirt and boxers, and I do not care about how I look — that’s when I knew I liked you.

I like your face, too. And your competence. You rarely give compliments, so I know you’re sincere about it when you do give one. You praised me once or twice, and I was giddy for days. But that’s about it.

I shouldn’t like you because I am fully aware that I have no chance. My thighs jiggle often and my hair’s dull. I’m unlike…

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Date A Girl Who Keeps A Bottle Of Champagne In The Fridge

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No, not the kind of bland little thing who’s had a single bottle of Korbel in her refrigerator since someone gave it to her on her 26th birthday.

I’m talking about a girl with sparkling blue eyes that flicker and gleam and rise and pop like the bubbles she loves so much. A girl who speaks in extremes, in sincerities, with apocalyptic ferocity. A girl who doesn’t carelessly twirl her hair and stare away coyly, but who fixes you with a steely gaze like a tractor beam. Date a girl who throws doors open and slams them closed. Her eyes will fly open wide when she realizes the noise she’s made and she’ll whisper “sorry!” fervently, quietly, as her cheeks flush bright pink. Date a girl who laughs so hard that she cries, then gleefully dries her eyes on her scarf without a moment’s thought to the mascara streaking…

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17 Reasons Your Best Friend Is The Only Therapist You’ll Ever Need

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1. You feel the uncontrollable urge to just spill every last detail about whatever is happening in your life whenever you’re together. Every. Last. Disgusting. Detail.

2. Facebook stalking is researching in their book too, and it gives you empirical evidence to prove the theories you craft up about people, which help explain your current predicaments all the more (They ARE dating! He did go there this weekend, I knew he was LYING.) 

3. You admittedly talk about the same situation(s) ad nauseum, but it’s always exactly what you need somehow.

4. They let you get drunk and chalk your problems up to one of two sentences: “I hate everyone” or “fuck everything.”

5. There’s no such thing as “over-thinking” with you guys, you’re simply analyzing the situation for your own well-being.

6. Neither of you are really in any position to be helping anybody — it’s the blind leading the blind —…

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If I had to miss you, this is what I’d miss.

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What do I miss the most about you and me? It’s not the conversation, or the laughter, or the sex.  If I close my eyes, I can still picture it: us in bed, clothes strewn all over the floor, the tv on, but the volume low, the occasional bump or footsteps of your brothers moving around upstairs.  The thing I miss the most is when we were lying in your bed, half awake and half dreaming, when the alcohol is just starting to pull us into a deep sleep.  When we were barely touching but our breathing was in sync and your arm was casually draped over me, your fingers tracing mindless and random circles all over my body.  In a relationship that was purely sex, it’s ironic that of all the things I could miss about being with you, it is one of our most intimate and innocent moments.  I never appreciated the closeness or intimacy we would sometimes share because I was so determined to keep what we were doing void of emotion.  In fact, I know I often pushed you away, reminding you that I hated cuddling, which would only cause you to grab me and trap me next to you…until you started kissing me, and I was secretly relieved that things could stay strictly sex.  I was the one who set the precedent for our relationship, and yet, here I am, missing your touch–in the most innocent ways possible.  What is this hold that you have over me, and why can’t I escape it, even months later?

The Email I Received That Every Girl Needs To Read

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My friends and I enjoy emailing each other at work. Partially because we feel like adults while doing so, but mostly because we can conceal that fact that we’re not doing work. One particular friend of mine and I were chatting about – what else – dating and heartbreak. We both have been “getting back on the horse” after experiencing the dissolution of serious relationships we were very invested in. Some days, we feel empowered. And some days, we would prefer the choice of staying in bed and googling the pros and cons of a lobectomy. After shooting her an email about the fear of not being remembered by an ex-boyfriend, she sent the following email back to me. It brought me to tears, and to my senses. I hope it can help any other girl or guy who may be feeling less than spectacular. (Names have been changed because duh.)

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