1. You feel the uncontrollable urge to just spill every last detail about whatever is happening in your life whenever you’re together. Every. Last. Disgusting. Detail.
2. Facebook stalking is researching in their book too, and it gives you empirical evidence to prove the theories you craft up about people, which help explain your current predicaments all the more (They ARE dating! He did go there this weekend, I knew he was LYING.)
3. You admittedly talk about the same situation(s) ad nauseum, but it’s always exactly what you need somehow.
4. They let you get drunk and chalk your problems up to one of two sentences: “I hate everyone” or “fuck everything.”
5. There’s no such thing as “over-thinking” with you guys, you’re simply analyzing the situation for your own well-being.
6. Neither of you are really in any position to be helping anybody — it’s the blind leading the blind —…
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