Almost every bone in my body is telling me to trust my gut and tell you how I feel because “you’re different,” and a nice, good guy, and you just might be the one to break down every wall I’ve placed around my heart.  Hell, you’ve already started.  But it’s that small little piece of me that is tearing me apart.  That same small part that says you don’t feel the same and I’m just setting myself up for the inevitable disappointment and heartbreak.  And as much as I try to ignore that part, it keeps coming back–stronger and stronger each time.  So I give into it and mess around; telling myself that this, staying with him tonight is what is going to stop the disappointment and the pain.  If you have someone waiting on the sideline, losing someone you could actually and truly fall for will hurt less, right? Maybe.  And after all, that little bit of doubt isn’t there for no reason.  Some part of me must understand something about us that I have yet to figure out, right?

But he’ll never even come close to you. Because despite what I might tell anyone else, you’ve broken down a lot of walls and I think I’m starting to fall. And I think losing you might be the real downfall.

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