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Drunken thoughts are rampant tonight–angry and sad and disappointed and defeated. I can’t believe I let myself hope for something more. I can’t believe I thought that maybe this time things would be different. But the worst thought of all, the one that is constantly being echoed in the back of my head when all else is silent, is the thought that once again, I wasn’t good enough. Everyone told me, and even I came believed that this whole situation, that we could be good for me. But I should’ve stuck with my original feelings. Because in the end, this only left me broken into pieces on the floor. The very place you found me. Maybe that’s why you stayed around for so long. Maybe in some sick, twisted way, you got off on putting me back together only to destroy me all over again.

Good to know I can feed your ego.

But you aren’t the only one. You may have broken me once again, but others continue to step on the broken pieces, making it even harder to put back together this time. Few have come along, tried, and succeeded to rebuild the pieces I once called myself, only to have someone come along and rip apart every bit of progress. Maybe I’m just not meant to be whole anymore. I’m just not good enough for that.

So I’ll drink until the pain dulls and relish the moments when the anger and pain is replaced by genuine happiness–no matter how short the moments may be.


The 9 Steps Of Falling In Love With Your Best Friend

Thought Catalog


So It Begins

You find a person that you can really relate to and you think to yourself, “Hey, this kid is actually pretty cool!” You start to hang out more and text more often. They become your best friend on Snapchat, they always will like your Facebook or Instagram posts and favorite your tweets. You study together, you eat together, you just enjoy being in their presence. They laugh at your jokes, even when they’re not funny and you laugh at them when they’re not trying to be funny. You’re there for them, like any good friend through the good and the bad, because that’s what friends are for, right?

The space closes

Now that you’re such good friends, you can actually talk. And by talk, I don’t mean the “How was the party last night?” or “Hey, let’s go grab a bite to eat!” texts, but I…

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3 Signs He Needs To Grow Some Balls

Thought Catalog

10 Things I Hate About You10 Things I Hate About You

Here is some advice for the men of the world. I’m sure other women would agree with me.

I like men who approach me with confidence. However, this rarely happens. For some reason I attract men who have no self-confidence that shake at the thought of communicating with a woman. I am not attracted to this.

Please grow some balls and talk to me. If you do that, it automatically gives you some allure. The worst thing I can do is say no and you barely know me, so how is that the end of the world? You are not going to creep me out if introduce yourself and buy me a drink. However, you will creep me out if you do these things:

1. You follow me around the room while staring at me the whole entire time. Every time you awkwardly make…

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4 Things I’m Not Sure If It’s Okay To Wear As A Grown-Up Woman

Thought Catalog

Call me crazy, but I feel slightly uncomfortable whenever I wear one of the below. Yeah, I still wear these items. But is it okay?!

1. Soffe Shorts

Amazon / Soffe ShortsAmazon / Soffe Shorts

If you’re not familiar with soffe shorts, they are those cotton colored shorts girls wore in high school that they rolled over 3-4 times in order to maximize the view of their ass. As a former cheerleader, I used to live in soffe shorts. I had a pair in basically ever color and then some. When I graduated college and was no longer able to call myself a cheerleader, I still lived in soffe shorts. They were my pajamas. My beach wear. My gym clothes. No I wasn’t a cheerleader anymore, but you could definitely catch me sporting my college colors in a t-shirt I got for free with matching soffe shorts on the treadmill.

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To The Boy Who Wanted To Be ‘Just Friends’

Thought Catalog

I will never tell you that I had you figured out from the start. (You’d say I was wrong, anyway.) I learned, from the way you carried yourself and talked to people, myself included, what kind of guy you were. You were attractive, forward, and playful, with a cocky edge that drove me all kinds of crazy. Call it instinct telling me to stay away, but for the first several months that I knew you, we didn’t talk much, if at all. Maybe I should’ve felt bad that I had developed preconceived notions about you. I never took the time to really get to know you, but honestly, I didn’t want to take that time. Not just with you, with anyone.

I will never tell you that somehow, against all odds, you started breaking through to me. It only took a few of your random gestures for my over-active mind…

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40 Things Every College Girl Needs To Be Reminded Once In A While

Thought Catalog


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1. The number of weekends you have in college to go out and let loose is not infinite, go out at least once a weekend.

2. So you’ve gained a few pounds? You’re becoming a woman you’re not supposed to look 18 forever.

3. College wouldn’t be college if you got 8 hours of sleep every night. Embrace being tired it means you’re doing something right.

4. Pizza is one of God’s great creations, you’re hurting God’s feelings when you act too good for it.

5. Don’t let one creepy guy form your opinion on an entire fraternity.

6. Do not minimize what a privilege college is. Many people who are capable to be where you are can’t get there for a variety of reasons. Respect your opportunities.

7. Don’t settle for attention from icky guys

8. Don’t settle period.

9. Don’t give up if you’ve…

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Once Upon A Time Is All You Will Ever Have

Thought Catalog

For my friend, Nicos Figueroa, who provided the story behind this piece. May you find the find the kind of love you deserve and another chance at a love for a lifetime.

What if? What if it could have been love, but it wasn’t? When you find the right person but the timing is always wrong, or something always gets in the way, or the conditions were never enough to bring you together? How many times in one lifetime can you fall in love, the kind of love that’s meant to last a lifetime?

That can’t eat, can’t sleep, reach for the stars, over the fence, World Series kind of love. It Takes Two

You might never believe in love at first sight, but it does happen. That lovely moment when you first lay eyes on a person and not know a thing about him, only that he was meant…

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Maybe Disney Did Get Something Right About The Fairytale Ending After All

Thought Catalog

Once upon a time, in a living room 800 miles away, clad in Winnie-the-Pooh footy pajamas, I discovered the whole concept of “once upon a time,” courtesy of Disney (and my dad, who was in charge of the remote).

Sipping on my sippy cup, one-third coffee, two-thirds cream and sugar (also courtesy of my dad, who was in charge of my Saturday sippies/consequent coffee addiction), I watched anxiously — mostly due to the caffeine coursing through my 5-year-old body — as Prince Charming, refusing to settle for a foot shoved ever so ungracefully into that glass slipper, searched the kingdom for his perfect fit.

And from the moment Cinderella glided in to her glass slipper, I had two major thoughts that would shape the course of my life: 

1. Coffee was AWESOME.

2. Where was my Prince Charming?!

So, here I am, 21 years later, trading in my Winnie-the-Pooh footies (about…

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Love Factually

Thought Catalog

Co-written with David Tveite.

College relationships are a conundrum. On one hand, fueled by newfound independence and the spirit of experimentation, college is the perfect place for romance to bloom. On the other, the specter of graduation can force couples to confront tough questions sooner than anyone wants to. Hannah and David got together during their senior year of school in Tacoma, Washington, staring down both sides of this double-edged sword from the get-go, so we asked them to share their experiences.

Conversations on dark porches at house parties. Text messages composed with painstaking care and decoded with neurotic concern. Banter over drinks at dive bars.

A healthy beginning, a typical one, especially for college kids. This is the fun stage, before the whole thing quietly fizzles or becomes Facebook-official.

But David and I, both pathologically noncommittal and willing to go to great, inconvenient lengths to prevent uncomfortable…

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