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If there were such a thing as a “nice guy repeller”, you can bet your pumpkin spice latte it is yours truly that is endorsing it. I am basically living proof that nice guys do indeed finish last. Always. In all aspects of life. The nice guys I have encountered and tried dating are pretty much comparable to a night out drinking Vodka Tonics: sounds like a safe choice, stays a safe choice, does not get much of a buzz and walks away with few good stories of the night before to tell. Boring. Pass me the whiskey.

Douchebags on the other hand are my specialty.

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I’ve never met one I didn’t like or didn’t want to get to know. One walks in my vicinity and my poor-life-decision radar goes off. Game over. Cue the Fireball shots. Story time with my friends has already been…

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